Seriously, if you disagree, then I need you to offer any other possible explanation for my life.
Ok... maybe that could be my effort to have a nap time built into everyone's work day.
Or my one man crusade to eradicate croutons from the planet. I mean, really, why should I have a bad case of Cap'n Crunch mouth after eating a salad?
This year's new competitive format presents 3 coaches, Bobby Flay, Alton Brown and Giada DeLaurentis, each choosing a team of well-trained cooks. Four weeks in, its clear they all forgot to choose anyone with even an appetizer sized portion of on-camera talent.
In previous seasons, there have always been a few of the contestants that stood out as people whose show I would want to watch. This season, so far I have yet to see one person who makes me want to watch. Linkie is a little bit interesting. I'd love to see more Hawaiian cooking than Ippy has brought to the table so far. I'm not sure Emily Ellyn is any more genuine than her name, and I really have trouble imaganing Little Emily's Mom squeezing out a glasses-wearing Hipster and going, "Yeah, Emily... let's call her Emily Ellyn." "Emily Elaine Ellyn", we might as well guess. I mean, a trendy pair of glasses a food star does not make, otherwise, me and my RayBans would be on Team Alton.
Judson had his butt saved by the rest of his team. I believe the line "One of my mottos is food plus fashion equals love" is the only thing that will be remembered from what I expect to be a short stay on the show. His coach is food brainiac, Alton Brown. Perhaps Mr. Brown can be a grammarian for a moment and explain that one's "motto" by definition should be something the person has actually said before. That the line makes the list of Stupidest Sentences Ever Uttered by a Human.
The first-time team using the team format caused a much better cook and peformer to be turned into leftovers too soon. It seems odd that on a season where the coaches chose teams based on cooking ability, the judges are sending home people based on their on-camera talent. Obviously, its hard to evaluate food that is only seen and not tasted, but Eric's spin on fish sticks seemed like something I'd want to cook. Ippy's Salsbury Steak is definitely one I'd want to try. By contrast, on the teams that had to put someone up for elimination, Martie seems just like a cross between the Pioneer Lady and Paula Deen. Her remake of tuna casserole was little more than stacking the ingredients in a different manner. From Team Bobby, Michelle's presentation was just plain awful and there was nothing about her dish that seemed unique... she breaded a fish. So did Mrs. Paul.
Four weeks in, Justin Warner seems like the closest this season gets to a front-runner. Emily could survive, as could Nikki. I'm just not convinced I'd spend the time to set the DVR to watch a show from any of them. They may crown a king or queen of quirky, but there is no Sandwich King in this cast. The top guy will definitley not be the next Guy Fieri. Maybe they could borrow a new contestant from the cast of Flava of Love. I doubt any of them can cook, but damn, they made for entertaining tv.
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